Why success doesn’t silence suffering—and how therapy can help

In my work as a trauma-informed psychotherapist and integrative coach, I support a wide range of clients from all walks of life—each one navigating their own complex emotional landscape. A portion of my practice is dedicated to supporting ultra-high-net-worth individuals and public figures navigating complex emotional landscapes, while I also reserve space for clients seeking low-fee services—because healing should be accessible, and every story matters.

Success looks different for everyone. Whether you’re leading a company, raising a family, building a creative career, or simply trying to hold it all together, the pressures of modern life can take an invisible toll. Emotional suffering doesn’t discriminate—and neither does the need for support. While this post explores the often-overlooked struggles of high achievers and high-net-worth individuals, the themes are universal: disconnection, burnout, performance pressure, and the quiet longing for more meaning, more peace, more you. This post speaks specifically to those who appear to be thriving on the outside, yet feel adrift, anxious, or unfulfilled within. My hope is that, wherever you find yourself, you’ll see reflections of your own experience here—and feel less alone.

In my work with driven, high-functioning individuals who’ve built extraordinary lives—yet quietly wonder why it still doesn’t feel like enough, there are some common themes…

From the outside, they have it all. The accolades, the assets, the lifestyle. High-achieving professionals and ultra-successful individuals often appear untouchable—leading with confidence, accumulating wealth, juggling influence and ambition with practiced ease. But behind closed doors, many quietly endure a different reality: the emotional toll of success, the pressure of public scrutiny, and the silent burden of expectation.

At my private psychotherapy and coaching practice serving clients in New York, Montana, and worldwide via telehealth, I work with high-net-worth individuals, executives, creatives, and public figures who carry invisible stressors beneath their polished exterior. Despite outward accomplishments, these clients often struggle with complex emotional challenges that are easily overlooked or misunderstood—even by those closest to them.

It’s easy to imagine that life is ideal for these individuals, and to even envy them at times…

Many high achievers craft a life that appears ideal on the surface—by all external measures, they’ve “made it.” The home, the career, the family, the recognition. From the outside, their world looks curated and complete. And often, they’ve worked tirelessly to make it so. But beneath this carefully constructed life can exist an emotional reality that feels vastly different: a quiet emptiness, a sense of disconnection, or an ache they can’t quite name.

This dissonance between how life looks and how it feels can be disorienting. It can also be incredibly isolating. The imagined life—the one everyone sees or assumes—is filled with structure, success, and stability. But the lived experience may be marked by exhaustion, numbness, relational disconnection, or a deep yearning for something more real. It’s not uncommon for clients to whisper in session: “I should feel grateful, but I’m not happy. Why does it feel like something’s missing?”

We are all born with unique attributes and qualities. If we are fortunate enough to have optimal circumstances and nurturance along the way, we develop into secure adults. Adults with secure attachment and relational capacity are able to have meaningful experiences and relationships. They feel safe in the world and with others. Secure individuals are free to thrive.

As it turns out, most of us have had more adversity than is helpful. While some adversity makes us strong (we develop skill and resilience), too much adversity threatens to overwhelm us. It interferes with growth, because we are unable to feel safe, explore the world and develop adaptive coping strategies. Reduced capacity to cope naturally leads to anxiety, depression, addictions, compulsions, eating disorders and other troubling symptoms. When symptoms and poor coping takes over, our ability to establish healthy relationships, maintain those relationships and function well in the world is diminished. Sometimes we are fortunate enough to make an important connection to begin the healing process. The therapeutic relationship is one way to begin to heal.

Mental health seems to be experiencing a time of less stigma and greater awareness. People seem to feel safe sharing their mental health struggles on social media. The pandemic certainly led to an increase in loneliness, isolation, anxiety and terror, which led many to seek therapy and counseling, sometimes for the first time. This exploration to find a therapist also led to a great deal of confusion. With so many potential therapists and different therapeutic orientations, the big question becomes, “what’s the right type of therapy for me?”

Many want a quick fix as they enter therapy. Of course, short-term models that offer skill building and concrete interventions have their place. The problem with this strategy is that it rarely moves the needle when it comes to true healing.

As a Manhattan-based licensed psychotherapist in private practice, I get this question a lot. What do all these acronyms after last names actually mean? And what do you need to find the very best NYC therapist for you and your healing goals? You are struggling right now and need to find high-quality mental health care in New York City, but it’s all so confusing. Your search for the right therapist can be intimidating and downright overwhelming. Should you work with a private therapist or should you sort through the group practices to find the best therapist for you? All those acronyms; all those modalities—getting started with therapy should be easier!

I’m sharing with you a trend that I’ve noticed, that you may not be aware of. Many group therapy practices charge standard psychotherapy fees and even high fees, and place you with a therapist trainee. This practice should be disclosed to you so you are fully informed about your care. When you are assigned to a therapist, you have a right to ask about their training and experience.

All therapists in training (in my field that’s an LMSW, until they reach LCSW designation) will undergo nearly 3 years of supervision or about 3000 mandatory practice hours. If you’re assigned to an LMSW, you’re working with a therapist who is being supervised as they work towards their hours. After a therapist in training has met this requirement, they are autonomous and can then work in private practice without supervision. If you work with a therapist undergoing supervision, your therapist or counselor will need to discuss your case at weekly meetings with their licensed, supervising therapist.

Mental health recovery and trauma recovery is not a linear process, and thinking that it should be only creates more shame and defeat. As you walk the path of healing, It’s important to remember that…

• the grief process is not linear

• mental health recovery is not linear

• addiction recovery is not linear

• healing a broken heart is not linear

• trauma processing is not linear

• learning to set healthy boundaries is not linear

• self-growth in therapy and counseling is not linear

Be kind to YOU and offer yourself compassion and grace every time you stumble or fall. This is how you heal.