Consider Couples Therapy Now Before Minor Concerns Become Bigger Issues, And Even Crisis.
Why Choose Holistic Psychotherapy, EMDR & Wellness Manhattan to support your relationship needs?
Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW, is a leading NY/NYC licensed therapist providing couples therapy, marriage counseling, and adult individual therapy and EMDR expertise to clients throughout New York State. I’ve received advanced training and certification in a range of couple's therapy modalities. I specialize in trauma resolution and EMDR treatment and enjoy integrating into sessions elements of Emotionally Focused Therapy, Internal Family Systems, Psychodynamic Psychotherapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Attachment and Neurobiological approaches, Somatic Psychotherapy, and more. I have helped individuals and couples resolve a range of relationship issues for nearly two decades. I provide services to couples in New York who are partnered, married, planning to marry, and anyone in a relationship who needs support. I work with couples in both traditional and non-traditional arrangements to provide support with all the challenges that arise in adult relationships. Some examples of challenges that I work with include attachment style differences, communication challenges, repetitive pattern dynamics, open relationships, ethical non-monogamy, infidelity, kink exploration and sexual concerns related to changes in libido, desire discrepancy, anorgasmia, sexual trauma, pregnancy/postpartum, perimenopause, menopause, erectile dysfunction, andropause and medical diagnosis/chronic pain. Addressing the root cause of your suffering is always the primary goal of relationship therapy.
You are here because you’re wondering if couple therapy can finally help you repair your relationship.
When you are experiencing distance, tension, or difficulty in your relationships, you may experience feelings of abandonment, rejection, a lack of empathy, anger, disappointment, hopelessness, shame, and other emotions. Most couples enter relationship counseling in some state of despair. Often, they have struggled for years, and in a last-ditch attempt to save the relationship, they begin couples therapy. At this point, communication has eroded, distance is the norm, and sex is nearly nonexistent. Reasonably high-functioning couples often begin therapy to navigate difficult circumstances, seeking guidance from a relationship therapist or coach. Couples counseling is typically sought by two people who are in a romantic relationship and are experiencing challenges they want to address together. These individuals are committed to improving their relationship, whether that’s through resolving conflict, improving communication, rebuilding trust, or working through other issues that may be impacting their bond.
As an experienced couple and relationship therapist with a private practice in New York, I have witnessed many challenges among successful, busy New York and NYC couples. Still, often, problems are rooted in the same recurring issues. In our counseling sessions, we focus on creating a safe environment for sharing thoughts, feelings, and emotions. We work on active listening skills, identify important patterns in your relationship, express individual needs, build empathy, set goals, and develop effective conflict resolution skills. Sessions are virtual. 60, 90, or 120 minutes, and we can meet online wherever in the world you happen to be.
Here are some common scenarios of who enters couples counseling:
Unresolved Issues & traumatic experiences From the past
“When she screams at me, I find myself turning around to see if someone is behind me. It never feels like whatever I’ve done warrants the kind of reaction that I get. I don’t think her therapy is helping her.”
Partners often exhibit various patterns and repetitions that are influenced by their individual pasts. Often, they don’t realize that the triggers in their present are often unresolved negative experiences and traumas. Many partners have not yet recognized that their current experiences are remnants of earlier traumas. Unresolved experiences manifest as recurring patterns or triggers that affect how partners interact with each other. For instance, unresolved traumas or emotional pain from previous relationships, childhood experiences, or significant life events can surface, influencing current behaviors and emotions. When individuals haven't fully processed or addressed these past traumas and experiences, they might inadvertently project their fears, insecurities, or frustrations onto their partner. This can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, or emotional distance. Some examples of unresolved issues that impact couples include emotional unavailability, difficulty trusting, overreacting and feeling triggered, avoidance of intimacy, hypervigilance, repeated negative patterns that are never resolved, difficulty with boundaries, and the inability to resolve conflict maturely. By exploring these unresolved issues in therapy, couples can gain a better understanding of their emotional triggers and how they relate to their relationship dynamics. This awareness fosters healthier communication and helps partners support each other in the healing process, ultimately strengthening their connection and improving their overall relationship quality. Stopping the cycle of relationship stress can dramatically repair relationships and restore the connection. Trauma-focused couple therapy and individual EMDR therapy can be effective strategies for resolving trauma.
Life Changes and Transitions strain the best relationships
We’ve had so much thrown at us all at once that things feel overwhelming. At times, I feel so alone and overburdened. Self-care everyone talks about seems like a luxury i can’t afford.”
Life transitions can significantly impact relationships, and partners certainly have different ways of navigating change. Many couples enter therapy because they have experienced something major in their lives. Events such as having children, aging parents, changing careers, moving to a new place, or dealing with the loss of a loved one can create stress and challenge the dynamics between partners. During these times, communication and support become crucial. Couples may find that therapy can be beneficial in helping them navigate these changes, allowing them to adjust and strengthen their connection as they face new challenges together. Therapy can help clients partialize problems and address overwhelm with the support they gain in counseling. Many New York and NYC clients have additional strains and stressors that accompany life in Manhattan.
Communication issues greatly impact your partnership
“We try to discuss things, but it feels like we keep going in circles, and nothing ever gets resolved, same fights over and over. We hope to learn some tools in therapy.”
One of the most frequent issues that drives couples into counseling is the inability to communicate effectively and meet the needs of the other. This might involve misunderstandings, frequent arguments, or not feeling heard or understood by one’s partner. Effective and successful communication is more than just conveying information about your day. In couple counseling sessions, we focus on helping couples develop healthier communication skills to resolve the negative, painful patterns. This includes improving communication skills, practicing active listening, and fostering empathy to bridge gaps in understanding. An example of a powerful couple technique is Emotionally Focused Therapy or EFT, which helps couples enhance their communication by addressing the emotional undercurrents in their interactions. Through EFT, they learn to recognize negative patterns that lead to miscommunication, enhance emotional awareness, develop empathy, actively listen, reinforce positive interactions, and transform conflict into connection.
Emotional Distance needs to be understood & addressed
“Something has changed between us—he feels a million miles away. It’s like he’s collapsed and retreated. Maybe he’s depressed, but Hoping therapy helps us.”
Emotional distance is one of the most common reasons couples seek therapy. Over time, couples may feel disconnected, leading to a sense of emotional detachment. This can happen for a variety of reasons and can be a slow process, so the partners might not realize it's happening until it’s a bigger issue. When emotional distance grows, it can leave both individuals feeling unfulfilled, misunderstood, and even lonely in the relationship. New Yorkers, especially, lead busy and stressful lives, which can negatively impact relationships. Some other reasons for emotional distance include personal struggles and mental health concerns, unresolved conflict and resentment, increased stress or financial concerns, unresolved conflict, contempt or trust issues, loss of shared goals and interests, physical distance or lack of time together, lack of intimacy, life changes and transitions, and unmet needs. Emotional distance doesn’t mean the relationship is over, but it does signal the need for effort and intention to rekindle the connection. Couple therapy can be a powerful tool for couples looking to bridge the gap and strengthen their emotional bond.
Intimacy and Connection Issues lead to a cycle of disconnection
“We don’t feel close anymore. I’m afraid to reach out and even try to connect physically. I wouldn’t even know where to begin at this point; it’s been so long.”
Physical and emotional intimacy issues are prevalent among couples seeking therapy. These challenges may stem from stress, life changes, or deeper relationship issues. When partners feel emotionally, physically, or sexually distant from each other, it can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction, frustration, or even loneliness within the relationship. Over time, this lack of intimacy can create a cycle of disconnect that may feel hard to break without outside help. When intimacy, connection, and dissatisfaction issues arise, partners may experience difficulty talking about the changes, conflict because of the drift, a lack of desire for their partner, and even fear of rejection. By creating a safe space for open dialogue, therapy can help couples explore underlying causes and work towards rekindling their connection, both emotionally and physically. Couples can heal by exploring underlying issues, healing past hurts, developing healthy boundaries, rebuilding emotional closeness, and enhancing physical intimacy.
Sexual Issues have many sources and create distance
“I can’t remember the last time we had sex, never mind good sex. We snuggle, but that’s about all she’s interested in. It wasn’t an overnight thing, but more like a slow drift.”
Differences in sexual desire, lack of intimacy, and insufficient physical affection can lead to tension in a relationship. These issues may arise from emotional disconnection, mismatched libido or desire, stress and anxiety, concerns about performance, hormonal imbalances and deficiency in men and women, body image problems, trauma or past abuse, medications and medical conditions, addictions, boredom, infidelity, trust issues, parenting stress, financial pressures, and more. Effective therapy with an experienced couple therapist can help navigate and resolve these difficulties. Sexual issues can have a significant impact on couples, affecting their emotional connection, communication, and overall relationship satisfaction. Since sex is often intertwined with intimacy, trust, and vulnerability, challenges in this area can create tension, confusion, or frustration between partners. Sexual concerns with couples can lead to emotional distance, increased tension and conflict, resentment and frustration, trust concerns, body image issues, poor self-esteem, feelings of loneliness, and mental health challenges. Therapy with a mental health professional who has also had sex therapy training can be tremendously helpful in getting to the root cause and helping couples heal and feel connected.
Trust and Infidelity will break your heart and relationship
"I never thought we would be that couple that faced infidelity. I was Naive!”
Infidelity or any breach of trust can be devastating to a relationship. Rebuilding trust after betrayal is one of the most daunting challenges couples face. Therapy provides a structured environment to address the pain of infidelity, facilitating a process of healing, forgiveness, and rebuilding trust. This journey involves transparent communication, accountability, and the rebuilding of a foundation for the relationship. Infidelity can be challenging for so many reasons, including betrayal of trust, heartbreak, loss of intimacy, questions of self-worth, loss of connection, confusion about the cause, impact on social and family circles, risk of divorce, and more. While infidelity can be a devastating blow to a marriage, it doesn’t always have to mean the end of the relationship. In fact, some couples are able to work through the aftermath of an affair and come out stronger on the other side. However, this requires both partners to be committed to healing and rebuilding the relationship. One important aspect of recovery after infidelity is getting to the root cause of how this happened. Infidelity doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Underlying issues often contribute to affairs, such as poor communication, opportunity, culture, revenge, unmet emotional and sexual needs, emotional disconnection, personality or character flaws, as well as addictions and compulsions. Couples need to identify and address these root causes in order to rebuild a healthy relationship. Infidelity is incredibly painful and challenging for a marriage, but it doesn’t always have to signal the end of the relationship. For many couples, it becomes a turning point—either leading to separation or serving as a catalyst for deep reflection, communication, and growth. The truth is, both of you have experienced a deep loss, and you’re both grieving the death of the relationship you thought you had. If you’re the one who had the affair, therapy can help you sort through what’s going on and arrive at clarity through infidelity counseling. If you discovered that your partner had the affair, counseling can sort through your emotions, help you feel more grounded, and arrive at some clarity about next best steps—whether repairing or moving on. Recovery is possible with dedication, open communication, and the willingness to work through the complexities of the situation.
Conflict Resolution should be basic training for all relationships
“I feel my partner prioritizes his friends too much, leaving me feeling lonely and neglected. He, on the other hand, feels like I am being too controlling and won’t understand his need for time with his friends, which helps him recharge. This is where we always get stuck.”
Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but it’s the approach to resolving these conflicts that can either strengthen or weaken the bond between partners. Therapy introduces strategies for constructive conflict resolution, helping couples to approach disagreements with empathy, respect, and a willingness to find common ground. Conflict resolution in couples refers to the process of managing, addressing, and resolving disagreements or differences in a way that promotes understanding, compromise, and emotional growth, rather than escalation or harm. It’s about finding solutions that are acceptable to both partners while maintaining mutual respect and a healthy relationship. Some important skills you will gain through couples therapy include active listening, managing emotions during difficult conversations, avoiding blame and criticism, developing empathy and understanding, learning to compromise and collaborate, preventing stonewalling, focusing on solutions, respecting differences, and apologizing, among others. Effective conflict resolution in couples is all about creating a safe space for both partners to express their emotions and needs, listening to each other with empathy, and working together to find solutions. It takes practice, patience, and commitment, but when done well, it can transform the relationship, creating a deeper sense of connection and mutual respect.
Parenting and Family Dynamics can lead to resentment and despair
“We fight a lot about how we raise our kids and how much time she needs to spend with her family, especially her mom, who is around a lot. It doesn’t help that she doesn’t like my family. so it feels unfair. Honestly, I’d rather be away from both our families—I wouldn’t feel so left out.”
Parenting, blending families, and navigating extended family relationships can introduce significant stress into a couple’s dynamic. Therapy offers strategies for aligning parenting approaches, setting boundaries, and managing family-related stresses in a way that enhances the couple’s relationship. These issues can lead to stress, miscommunication, emotional exhaustion, and sometimes even resentment between partners. Family dynamics and parenting issues can be problematic because of parenting style stress, no time for each other, financial strains, in-law and family issues, exhaustion and lack of sleep, lack of time for self care and restoration, health problems with children, increased conflict and no resolution, loss of intimacy and romance. Parenting and family issues are natural parts of life, but when left unaddressed, they can create stress and tension in a marriage. The key is for couples to communicate openly, share responsibilities, and make time for each other. By prioritizing marriage and working together to manage family-related stress, couples can strengthen their relationship and navigate parenting challenges in a healthier and more supportive way.
Financial Strain is real and can destabilize your relationship
“Our financial problems over the last few years have really sunk our relationship. It seems the only thing we fight about is money. This feels terrible. We hope therapy offers some hope for us.”
Financial strain can challenge even the sturdiest relationships. Money matters often reflect deeper issues of power, control, and security in a relationship, and this is something that can be identified during couple counseling sessions. In therapy, couples are guided to address financial stress through open communication, setting shared goals, and developing a cooperative approach to managing finances. Couples therapy can help you address the many challenges that arise with financial strain, including increased stress and anxiety, resentment and blame, emotional and physical drift, communication breakdowns, conflict over priorities, division of labor, impact on intimacy, never-ending arguments, and more. While financial strain can certainly strain a relationship, many couples can overcome it through open communication, teamwork, and mutual support. Being transparent about finances and seeking help if needed (like financial counseling) can help alleviate some of these pressures. Therapy can help you identify the root cause of power and control issues and can help repair your relationship.
Life Transitions and Stress are inevitable, therapy helps
“Both of us have lost a sibling and parents, changed jobs, and moved all within 3 years. it’s been the biggest challenge we’ve faced so far together in our 20 years together.”
Life’s inevitable transitions—career changes, moves, losses—can strain relationships. Therapy supports couples in navigating these changes, offering effective skills for communication and adaptation, and ensuring that the relationship remains a source of support and strength through difficult times of change. In couples therapy, these issues are addressed to foster understanding, healing, and continued growth. By working through these difficult challenges together, couples can develop resilience and a more connected bond. An experienced therapist will guide couples through these challenges and process the difficult feelings and emotions, helping them thrive and transform. It’s important to understand the various challenges that couples face during difficult times. These challenges include the different ways individuals navigate and adjust to adversity, such as their coping and resilience styles, their ability to ask for help and support, the strength of their community and support networks, their communication skills, and their capacity to manage difficult feelings and emotions. Loss and transitions are powerful events that can either strengthen or strain relationships, depending on how partners handle the changes. Open communication, mutual support, and shared coping strategies are critical to maintaining a healthy and resilient relationship through these challenges.
Let’s start your journey to a stronger, more loving relationship together. reach out to me via my contact details and address your relationship concerns with a highly experienced NYC, NY Couple Therapist and Coach.
Improve Your Relationship With Holistic Psychotherapy, EMDR & Wellness Manhattan
Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is an experienced New York State licensed Psychotherapist, EMDR Practitioner, and Couple Therapist with a private practice in New York City, Montana, and virtually. As a psychotherapist and holistic wellness consultant, she has received advanced, extensive training and offers a range of therapeutic modalities, including trauma therapy, Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Somatic Experiencing (SE), Yoga Therapy and Nutrition & Integrative Medicine For Mental Health. She is passionate about honoring the exquisite interplay of the mind-body connection. Kim Seelbrede has a niche practice specializing in helping dynamic, high-achieving women improve their mental health with mentoring & coaching.
Other New York Therapy Services At Holistic Psychotherapy & Wellness Manhattan:
In addition to online therapy for anxiety, depression, trauma and relationship struggles, Holistic Psychotherapy & Wellness offers a wide variety of online services to fit the needs of busy New York professionals. New Yorkers often lead fast-paced and complex lives, which makes work-life balance and managing career, family and social obligations a challenge. Psychotherapy and wellness practices provide the support to help clients cultivate resources, resilience, and enhanced emotional health, as well as uncover conflicts and obstacles that may interfere with having the life they desire. EMDR therapy successfully treats a range of concerns, including shame, addiction, codependency, procrastination, and more.
Building optimal mental health takes time, and requires an investment of emotional energy. This practice offers many holistic practices to offer you comprehensive mental health care. Take a look at this website and discover how therapy with an experienced NYC therapist can help you develop the skills and resilience you need to heal deeply.
Women’s Mental Health & Hormonal Transitions Coaching
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EMDR Intensives For New Yorkers Online
Integrative Medicine & Mental Health Consultation NYC
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